Difficult Journey

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Why is this so hard?

Ughhhh!!!! Have you guys noticed how hard it is to love your own self?

Like every single day you have to get up and like a workout remind yourself that today you have to choose yourself over everyone else, every single day it has to be struggle to look in the mirror and remind yourself that hey you are as valuable as any other person on this earth. How are you suppose to do that? How are you suppose to move on in life if you are stuck in the circle of torture every single day? When does it get easier?

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I am sure that at some point in life you all of you must have asked the questions irrespective of what problems you faced. So what’s the solution? Is there a pill out there that can stop all this and give you an instant solution? Obviously not. I am no expert in this whole life and love business but over the time life itself teaches some things to you and when you get it, it all works out.

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“When does it get easier?”

This is the biggest question I have asked myself time and again, and why not nobody likes to feel as if loving their own selves should be a big deal.

Well the simple answer is loving yourself is just like trying to lose weight. It doesn’t happen overnight or suddenly or through a magic pill. Just like losing weight loving yourself requires 100% commitment. Where you will have to workout every single day, eat clean and think clean, cut out carbs and negativity, and focus on the proteins and positivity. And the best part?…… there is no cheat day allowed.

And I know you might be thinking is all this effort worth it or not? Well to be honest if you have to even ask this question then you are the first person who needs to do this. Of course you are the worth the effort. Think about it this way through all the years that you are going to live, you are going to have your own company for a very long time and do you want to be with a person who doesn’t even like their reflection? I guess not. I hope that answers the whether you are worth it or not.

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Self-love comes naturally to many people and you can see that they have their confidence, intelligence and a pizzazz personality. And I think everyone deserves to live with that kind of novelty. So don’t be afraid of anything. Go ahead and commit yourself to this extremely rewarding journey. It might be easy for some or difficult for some but it will be amazing for all.

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I hope to see all of you out there succeed in this mission. Because you are beautiful and you deserve the greatest that this world has to offer which is love; love for yourself for family for friends even for strangers.

Have a good weekend all of you.

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ARE YOU SELFISH?

Are you being a selfish person?

I guess that’s what you must have thought after the last blog. I mean I asked you to kick your friends or family out of your lives albeit they weren’t all that good but they were what you had. So does that make you a selfish or a bad human being? Well if you ask this question to your bad friends then the answer would be yes maybe if you asked this question to your good friends too they might also say that loving yourself is a selfish path to walk on…….

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Well then lets look at this issue objectively, the oxford dictionary describes selfish as “lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.” Now I want you to think about what you are doing currently and judge for yourself. Maybe in the beginning you might feel so but trust me you are from the awful word selfish. The difference between being selfish and loving yourself is when you draw a line between a shoulder a cry on and being a doormat. Does being a doormat sound good to you? It sure doesn’t feel right to me that someone would use your love as a means to set up their own life at the cost of yours.

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I guess that has been the most common problem, being able to differentiate whether you are being selfish or just looking out for yourself. No one in this world can tell you how to live your life or how to keep your relations but the right person can surely tell you if you are on the right path or not. And what is the right path? Well that’s simple the right path would be one where both you and your partner are benefiting through the decisions or choices made. Sometimes you have to make a sacrifice or two for the greater good and that’s fine it makes you a shoulder to cry on but if it’s a habit or a choice that others around you expect you to make then that’s your answer, you have been turned into a doormat. No one wants to hear or think about the fact that their loved ones could do such a thing to them but It’s not always on purpose. It could be an unknown mishap on both the sides.

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The whole point is that you are here on this planet to live your own life and not be a showpiece of someone else’s. It’s time to love yourself and if the world thinks you are being selfish then tell them that you are indeed selfishly happy.

So chin up spine straight and be the queen you were meant to be. Don’t forget to kick ass and have a great time doing it.

TWO NEGATIVES MAKE A POSITIVE

Hi its me again

What do I have to say now?

Well for the past few days I have been feeling that this whole self loving journey is a dead end, because  lets admit it no matter how hard we try to ignore the negativity around us they have a way of creeping back up on us. But its not impossible right?……….

That’s what we are going to talk about today how to fight the negativity

I know its easy to say things like cut the people who always put you down out of your life… well how? How do I tell my friend that hey you are not good for me and so please step out of my life. You cant because that would not make you a good person that would only make you an asshole.

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Its not always only your friends who make you unhappy, maybe its your sister or your brother or worse maybe one of your parent……

So what should you do?

I have faced this problem so many times and sometimes still do. There is no perfect solution to this and you have to work to find your own right solution. Lets start with negative friends, if you cant cut them out then don’t but you cut the time you spend with them. But if they are the only friends you have you might face a problem, maybe you could try to look for people who suffer from same problems like you and could decide to help each other out. I am pretty sure you will be able to locate others just like you.

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And if you are facing problems from family members then of course you couldn’t ask them to leave but what you could ask for is some space, support, time or a break from whatever crap they are giving you. But it will come only if you show them that something is changing with you or if you really prove that there is no need for them to be on your case anymore. When they see you change, improve, get better at life than them they will try to push you down and make you mad af but if you promise to stand by yourself then they will back the hell off.

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It is important to remember that you control everything you do and if you want to see a positive change around you its not going to happen with negative people around because they only know your insecurities and not your brilliance. These people have a way to pull exactly the right strings that make you fell miserable about yourself, for me it was sometimes my own imagination but sometimes it was real very real.

 

Moral of the day is that when you are on a road that puts you before others the negative people will throw a fit and your true supporters will make your road easier. Trust me that comes from personal experience. Don’t insult your well wishers by choosing the ill wishers over them.

That’s all for this time. Hope you have an amazing time in living your own life. i am right here waiting to kick ass of anyone who won’t let you live your life on your own terms.

And remember its easy to fall and cry but its even more easier to get up again and rock your life.

 

A STEP AHEAD

Hello readers!!

So now what? what do you do? where do you go? whom do you approach? are you suppose to share this with someone? should you tell your friends? family? boyfriend? or are you suppose to keep quiet in the fear that someone might think you have lost your damn mind……

To be honest guys there is no right answer when it comes to questions like that, some have amazingly supportive environment and really don’t need much other than believing in themselves

But there are many out there who don’t have a supportive environment and for them it is essential to first get rid of the self doubt and then move forward and try to be their best only then will you be able to get the same support from others that you have for your own selves.

Lets start from the beginning…

What made you read my blog? What made you think that your life as you know it right now is it not what you deserve or made you feel as if you deserve more? What is it that’s making you feel as if you are lacking something or something is wrong with you?

Whoever you are you need to look at yourselves in the mirror and truly see who you are and answer the above questions.

For me, I realized that something was wrong with myself when I could no longer see myself in the mirror……. I wasn’t ugly suddenly or fat suddenly no it was something else, like I had grown complacent with who I was. Always trying to hide myself under baggy clothes and a terrible personality. And I didn’t do anything about it. Stayed just the way I was. No one forced me to do anything, I had great friends who loved and supported me for the way I wanted to be. But I wasn’t happy with myself…… and as much as it shames me to admit it I wasn’t happy because of lack of male attention too.

But hey that’s not what is important right now.

Self love is about realizing the fact that whether you are a size 0 or size 100 you have to be happy with it. Accept yourself and love yourself for it. And as I have said before if you are not happy with yourself others around you would pick up on that and bully you for the same. Maybe bully is a strong word lets settle for you get what you give. I know people who are happy whether fat or slim. I know people who are happy with or without job, happy rich or poor. And it only serves the point that happiness is not a size shape, a bank balance, an arm candy or whatever else that you are attaching yourself too.

Nope being happy means being able to smile at yourself in the mirror when you begin the day and look forward to a good day or having a peaceful sleep at the end of a shitty day because you believe in yourself and will make tomorrow a better day.

It is important for everyone to know that they have a purpose, a reason to stay that’s why you are here but you have to turn that reason to stay into a reason to fight and eventually make it a right to live. Someone said happiness is a series of choices, I agree. The choices we make decide whether you are going sit at your home and be the unhappy liar living a double life or you are going to change and make yourself smile.

And you can take it from me that leading a double gets pathetic after a point so don’t dwell on it.

Don’t loose heart over what has already happened, think about whether this is what you wanted to happen or you have no idea when did life become all about just getting by. If  you belong to either of the group its fine you have at least come to the realization now and that’s more than what I can say for some out there.

You are not alone in this. As I said this is my journey too, towards loving myself and giving my family the best of what I am. So promise yourself that you will smile at your reflection in the mirror and do at least one thing that makes you happy.

That’s it for this time.

Loads of love for you.

 

THE BEGINNING

This is the post excerpt.

Hello readers,

Welcome to love: self and life, what’s that? A very important part of life that apparently has been lost for many out there including me. If you are one those then continue reading and if you aren’t then don’t forget to support and love those who are.

This blog is a journey that I wish to take with all of you, a journey of love not for your partner, not for your parents, not for your siblings, not for your friends or any other significant person. Love just for yourself, just the way you are.

Life as I have come to realize is not much fun if you have to struggle with issues of self-image or inferiority complex or just basically hating yourself. You know why? Because when you don’t respect yourself, you don’t feel worthy of other’s respect either. And that’s not the best feeling in the world to have.

There is something about mothers you see…..they give out of bounds love and that’s something most people take for granted thinking that since she has given birth to you it’s her job to love you; a mother does not only love you because she gave birth to you…. Nope this love comes from the simple fact that right from birth she knows you are an amazing person and still are and think about it this way no mother would want their child to be a failure right and if you have that amazing woman in your life then you definitely are not the worst person on this planet. And when your own mother thinks of you as that amazing then why you should belittle yourself by someone else’s perspective of you.

But, for those who do not fall in the above category of a “person having a loving support system” then do not fear because not everybody is that lucky to be frank.

So why should you read this blog?

That’s because this is not a piece of advice on how to live your life or a road map on how to make friends. No this blog is my experience of going through the phase where I hated myself; my life; my looks; I avoided looking in the mirror in case it could show me my inner failure. And I know you have heard it all before, ‘the so called advices’, ‘the helps that people who pity you offer’, ‘the anti-depressant pills, ‘the how to make your life better books’ and what not. But I have no advice to give because I am no psychiatrist or guidance counselor, I am just a regular girl that you would pass on by with a fake smile and casual “I don’t care” attitude. All I have is support for those of you who have decided to write your own version of right, your own rules and set you own standards of beauty.

The most important type of love is the one that you have for yourself. And only when you do that you can do what you want and be what you want and the rest all will just fall in place. Well it’s time to test these words and figure out just what it is that we have been missing out on all this time. I am a 20 year old female who is on a mission to make her own place in the world and not fit into the moulds that are not meant for me. Because guess what one shoe does not fit all and it’s going to take more than some pre determined standards to bring me down.

Been there done that and got the frigging t- shirt but not again…… never again. I don’t know how I ended up in this place the first time but I sure as hell won’t be staying here.

My aim for starting this blog is to give and get support to be myself…….be happy with myself and if you want to begin this journey with me you have my love and support and even though I might not know you, you are  pretty awesome. What do you need to start this journey? A beautiful smile and a bucket full of middle fingers for those who won’t support you, trust me it’s important.

So what do you think? Are you ready to take this step one blog at a time?

If you are then comment and get a bundle of support free!!!!!

See you next time,

Loads of love for you.